Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
