So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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