in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
