We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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