I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
