90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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