she was so not down for the gang bang
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
