I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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