some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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