Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
