Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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