I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
not ubering you a puppy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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