He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
