Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
