why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
