So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
