We're facebook friends in real life
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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