so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
