i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
