Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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