i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
