her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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