I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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