ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
