Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
