in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
This toilet bowl is my home.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
