i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
