Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
