hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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