I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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