I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
