Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
