My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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