For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
