Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
