When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
