We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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