He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
