we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
