Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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