i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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