With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
