So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
