I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
