Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
