Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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