I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
