the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
