im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Text me some of your sweat
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