Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
