The maid of honor just puked.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
