Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think your dad took our porno
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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