Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
